Lost

lost

Current mood:bullied

I’m scared. My dick fuck boyfriend has been being bad. He has already put hands on me three times. Once he choked me until I almost passed out, and I had the baby in my arms. Another time he pulled my hair and pushed me backwards with his forhead into mine. That time I was standing and he pulled me to sitting, while I was holding the baby.
I told him he had one more. Then a couple of weeks ago he was sleeping and I was pissed off. laying next to him. The baby was between us. I made a movement like I was hitting my boyfriend. Of course I wasn’t,  but I guess he woke up because the next thing I know he’s slapped me in the head. I can’tremember exactly what happened next, but I ended up on my side at the foot of the bed. He hit me in the ribs. Evedently I’m lucky he was still drunk because instead of getting a cracked rib (what he was trying for) I got a nasty bruse.
He told me later that he thought I was hitting the baby. He came home drunk tonight with his daughter and used that phrase to threaten me.
He uses the baby against me. He tells me he’s going to take the baby from me. He can’t even he even handle the baby for an afternoon. let alone take him from me. then when ever we fight he says he’ll beat my ass if I don’t give himthe baby.
This is when he’s hella drunk.
I hate him so much. It used to be only when I was drunk. Now it’s starting to be all the time. It’s getting so that I can’t stand to be around him. I’m afraid he’s going to end up killing me. I’m afraid to leave because I think he’ll come to my family’s and hurt them. I’m afraid to stay, I’m afraid to go.
I live in fear everytime he leaves the house to go anywhere but work. I’m afraid of how he’s going to be when he comes back. If this is going to be the night.
I know what I need to do, but I don’t know how to do it. I’m afraid for my family. He’ll either kill me or them if I leave him. He won’t lose another baby. he’s already lost two. I’m so screwed

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