I cannot believe that my new years is going like this. The day was fine, went to my ex’s had dinner. His daughter showed up with her boyfriend, which was ok because it was nice to see her and let her see her half brother (my son).
But as soon as I got home the undercurrents of resentment between my mom and I started. We wanted to watch different things on TV, which just started her going. Then she asks me where this bag of clothes are that I have told her about literally 15 times.
Yes as i write I realize how petty it all is, but she just has this way of making me crazy. As all mothers do to their daughters I guess. Then she gets more mad because I don’t apologize for turning the channel. Well no I wasn’t going to apologize, she turned it off of what I was watching first.
So to try and save the evening I retreat to my room; where my son soon joined me. He was asleep shortly after and I pretended to be. It’s sort of a cardinal rule that even my bitchy mother doesn’t break, you do NOT mess with the sleeping.
(I guess that’s why I hated my ex so much when he did. That is a different story that should not be told so soon in our relationship.)
Now she is gone. Out trying to wash laundry? Maybe she went to my aunts. I can only hope for that one since if she did she won’t be back till after midnight.
I was going to do my make up and put on jewelry this evening. I was going to write down the things I wanted to get rid of and the things I want to bring to my life in the future. Now I don’t have the gumption to do much of anything but write this blog. I’m sure I will though.
You see, I had a belief when I was younger that how I spent New Years Eve was what the tone of my year would be. And to a point I know it was sort of true. I know this because I would look back in my journal to check periodically through the year.
The last few years haven’t been exactly along those lines. But I was hoping to go back to those old ways. I mean wouldn’t it be nice if you could set the tone of your whole year in one night? Well, if that night went well?
So now what? I guess I’m going to go do my make up, maybe add some jewels, and make a couple lists. I’ll write to some friends too, I want to keep in touch and have a wider more involved circle of friends this coming year.
Which reminds me, is there a way to change time and date stamps on here? I wanted to add some of my other blogs to this one. but if I put them in different order I think it would ruin the effect of having them all in one place. Yes I have them all over. Two on MySpace, (one on my main and one on a secret one my ex didn’t know about) one on liveJournal, i could have done this there, but I just didn’t really want to for some reason. and some stuff on ping.fm that didn’t get where it was supposed to go. Oh and another one on a self-help-program site.
Anyway that’s all for now. Make sure to look for my next few. I’ll be remembering 2009 and then probably writing on here my goals for the future. Wish me luck! : )