Wednesday Night jan 13

is it wrong to want almost more than anything else for someone to just shut the fuck up? To sleep maybe for the rest of your life?

I can’t really stand a lot of people right now. Top of the list are my mom and ex – bd. they are both driving me crazy. my mom with her constant slights. dragging up every insecurity. it’s no wonder that I feel like shit about myself. that’s all she ever does is say shitty things.

Yesterday was pretty much the same. That’s why I didn’t write. I just really didn’t want to think about it.

Of course today no i can’t.

I chatted via email with fling- concert guy today. he can tell that im miserable by my posts. which really is a shame because i was trying to hard the last few days to seem happy.

I need more. More meds, more help, more money, more time…

what would i do with all these wondrous things? Be Happy.

sometimes you think it’s enough, other times you think it will never be enough.


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