Sunday night 1/17/10

Tonight my mind is everywhere.

It was another bad day. From the time I woke up to now. Fought off and on with my mom all day. After dinner it was a real breakdown. She just kept on me about everything all day long. I’d finally had enough and broke down into tears after a 5 min fight about how the dishes i cleaned were still dirty.

That’s how it always is. I do nothing I get yelled at for not doing anything. I do something, I get yelled at because it’s not done right. Uncle ok i give up.

She said i should move. That we don’t get along and that staying with her is doing more harm than good. Well duh. Only where the hell am i going to go?

So I looked at some of my resources and may have a couple things.

There are so many things I want to do and so many things that I need to do. I feel like i will never get it done. I may be starting online counseling soon. We’ll be doing email sessions. At 18 a pop it is a real bargain, less if i pay for more than one at a time. I’m hoping it works out.

I also want to try and figure out my calling. What i’m good at and what i am meant to do here. I’d also like to start writing. There have been a few book I want to write. You probably can’t tell from this (all tell no show), but i’m actually a very good writer.

I’d like to learn more about it. how to keep things organized. That actually reminds me, I have a few friends I could ask. two teachers and a bunch of writers from the old newspaper I used to work for.

I always get things in my head then end up not being able to sleep. The tiny bit of coffee with my hot chocolate at 10 probably isn’t helping either. Or the fact that I couldn’t find my melatonin in the dark.

I also have these 2 free online classes that i’ve been working on for years. One of my new years resolutions was to finish them. One is almost done, The other is going to take a lot of work.

And there are all these things online that I need to check. storage sites and email addresses.

Then there are the two business’ i’m trying to start. One is an online shop. The other is for my “promotions” business. Both are pretty much half cocked and need to be ironed out. I think I may do what I “should’t” and buy a printer for the house. I really do kinda need one. And since I’m a traditionalist, it’s easier for me to work on paper than on computer.

Even though the computer is the only place where I don’t lose anything. Except of course when the computer goes dead. which is where the online storage comes in.

Ok well I guess this is goodnight.

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