quick side note

or maybe not so quick we’ll see…

I had a dream the other night. It was the day after I’d asked all that look after me to let me dream of my future relationship so I wouldn’t miss it.

I was with obsession – … damn now I remember why I wanted to write that code down somewhere… anyway the one obsession i’ve written about. He was hanging out with me with part of my family, my son, and my dead godmother. (she wasn’t dead in the dream but she is in real life).

Anyway he was making a point of spending time with me doing real things and not just treating me like his fantasy. That has been a bit of a issue in our past relationship. That is pretty much all I can remember. I’d forgotten about it for a day or so.

Now of course all of this can just be wishful thinking. My mind giving me something nice for a change. But still I like it. I needed it. I’ve lost that dream when after obsessing  for too long I had remember a conversation we had. That conversation was about one I had completely blocked. He’d told me he didn’t love me.

At the time I don’t think I believed him. Maybe the years have changed his mind. Or maybe they have changed us both. All I know is I need some motivation.

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