idk

i hate my life. im so unhappy all the time, that i don’t even know what happy is anymore. doo i really want to get back with my ex & move in? or is it that i really just want away from my mom that bad? does it matter?

living with him is going to cost me just as much, if not more to live because i’ll have to help my mpm out with bills still. Fuck i hate all this.

then i look at my mom & think is this my future? to be so unaware of whats going on to the point that i cant understand the remote control?

i think we were all better off when we only lived to like 45. Really the only reason i have for going on is my son, of course if it wasnt for him my life may be totally different. I might actually be happy. Is that terrible?

i dont wish i didnt have him, but i will say that kids makes you vulnrible. Very vulnrible ( on a side note i hate that, that word is spelled wrong and that i have no idea how to fix it at the moment).

speaking of my little angel i may wake up with a blsck eye because of him. He thew his head back earlier right into my cheek.

my mpom was biching at me because i didnt clean up anything tonight. Does that work on anyone? does anyone actually say ok i’ll help you out after someone degrades them? it pretty much just makes me want to either leave or tell them to go fuck them selves.

she was also pissed because ive been gone. I dont clean shit in the morning it fucks with my waking up process & i dont do it at night, im too tired. Unless im stressed & cant sleep. But if im stressed its either because of her or she will make it worse. So yeah ill stay the fuck away from that bitch.

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