how much more?

long day, longer night. His drinking is getting out of control. He has been hanging out with some kids who drink. but no one drinks like him. they’ve been hitting the hard stuff the last two days.

He said he told me to charge his phone, he didn’t, but because it was off and I couldn’t find the charger (he lost) he threw the phone down and stopped on it. then said now try to get a hold of me.
he said he was hella pissed and that i wasn’t going to go with them. I didn’t care about going with them. I just can’t stand this anymore.

Then he came home again. he fell over in the kitchen. there were some empty boxes he hasn’t taken out. and broke the handle on our vacume.

I got a great shot of him passed out there. slobber that looked like it may have had some small food particles in it running down his chin. Not sure if it will show up on the pic since it was with my phone, but i remember it was there.

then he stumbled into the bathroom to pee after about half an hour or so. He pissed on himself, and the floor, some even got in the toilet.

At first I didn’t realize it and when he almost went over in there I tried to help him (actually I tried to help him get out of the kitchen too, but couldn’t get him off the floor), i couldn’t really help then either. He told me to get away from him and sat on the now down toilet seat.

he somehow passed out there for a little over an hour. I got a nice shot of that. tried to do a close up of the pea puddles (?) running down the length of his shorts, but I don’t think it really worked.

He is now finally in the bed. shorts off thank god, not to say that really helps it be less gross. at least pee is sterile.

It looks like he was looking for me because he is hugging the blanket and sleeping sideways across the bed.

I hate him when he drinks. I hate him more than I have ever hated anyone.

I really want to leave, but I don’t know if I have a place to go right now. Can’t go back to my mom’s at the moment. we are moving the rest of my stuff out because the landlord is on her. (long story). And because my sister is prego. which is making everyone crazy.

If I can make it a few more days things might be ok. Or they might get worse. But if I can get my stuff out of my moms and get a little level footing I might go to a shelter.

I’ve never considered it before, but I know how this story ends. I don’t want anything to do with that story.

So what do I do considering when I try to talk to him, like tonight, he just goes out and gets hella shit faced.

He has also been acting weird. Leaving his phone here so I can’t call him at night.

I wish he’d cheat on me and let me find out. that would be the greatest shit.


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