why

he’s back at it. and i’m so scarred that this sept is going to be a repeat of the last two years. I’m so afraid i’m going to get beat up again.

he’s been drinking a lot the last few days. talking about how some of the guys are surprised he’s not in AA or NA. he needs to be.

he was saying the worst things to me tonight. that he wanted to beat my ass. that he was going to take the “baby” away from me. that he was going to make it so my family had no home and that their kids would be taken away.

that he doesn’t like me or the baby and he want’s up to get out. that i couldn’t keep a house clean if my life depended on it. then he’d say he loved me. then he’d say he was going to commit suicide.

all this started because he wanted me to go to bed with him. I’ve been sleeping in the front room a lot because of his drinking and because the baby has been sick.

he says he doesn’t like me because i can’t keep the baby quiet. what am i supposed to do? he’s sick. then he tells me to leave. then he tells me not to leave then he tells me to. then i have to get up because the baby was crying and he takes up my spot on the bed.

what am i supposed to do wake him up?

I can’t handle this. but maybe this is what has to happen. God help me.

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