Bad ish night

So far the evening hasn’t been that bad, but it very easily could be. He tried to get me to have sex wiTh him. Since he was 3 bottles under I didn’t want anything to do with him. I was also afraid that he might pee the bed. The cover still isn’t on it.

He threatened me a little. Talked shit about making me move. How he didn’t want to touch me. That he could get all kinds of girls to suck his dick like when I was gone before. Bla bla bla.

I don’t know which makes me care less, that I really can’t stand him or that I hear it all so often that it no longer has an affect.

I was scarred though that he would Come out and either hit m or make me have sex. So far neither, but I do think he’s going to piss the bed. Which will really suck because the pads are on it.

He talked shit about the house being clean too.

One thing I am starting to wonder about though is if he really is thinking about breaking up because of the lack of sex.

I hate it all. I just wish all the bullshit would end. I’ve got people on string right now. But I usually do this time of year.

An old fling from the past has come back into the picture. Actually it was someone I could have loved. But he was in love with someone else. Once I was gone he tried to get me back, but I couldn’t. It was too late I was with ass hole I think. And gun shy. I wasn’t going to open myself up to that kind of heartbreak again. Not so soon. I would now, but I kinda feel guilty. About “leading him on” right now. Since at the moment I can’t Give him anything but flirtation.

Sometimes its just about needing something To get you through the day. Which is something I sorta asked for recently. I need some things

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