I hate him

I’m getting really fucking sick of him "forcing" me to fuck him.

He doesn’t care if I want to or not. And he gets so pissed when I don’t. You know the only thing worse than having to have sex when you don’t want to? It’s having sex after being threatened and/or hit.

I so want this mother fucker to drop dead. I wish to god someone would run him over or something. Nice people die for no reason every day. Why can’t this bastard?

Other than that the last couple of days have been ok. Not pleasant, but not the hell they were before. I can’t wait to get away from him. That is all I want. I know I should just report him to the police. But unless he was going away for a very, very long time, what the fuck is the use? Then I’ll just be someone else that has told on him. Not like he isn’t the biggest narc cop calling bitch in the world.

He fucking stinks so bad. it’s so fucking disgusting. He has bad breath and stinks because he showers usually less than once a week after working hella hard. And he has no fucking excuse. I hate him, I hate him so much. I just want to get myself and my son and my family so far away, far enough away that he can never find us. I don’t know what’s wrong with his ex. That bitch just wants to keep getting in his life. She likes talking to him I know she does. I wish to god she was acctually pretty so maybe he’d just go back to her.

I wish I was in her place. I wish I was across the country from his sorry ass. I’ve never hated someone so much, and of course I really think he feels the same about me. He just doesn’t realize what hate is because he hates his whole family too. So yeah just to document. Non-violent, but knew I didn’t want to have sex and made me anyway. While Sonny was in the next room. That used to really get to me, and it still does sometimes, but if I let it all get to me I’d be in a mental hospital or jail. So I don’t, I just get through it.

Speaking of which I’m going to go drink now because if I have to stay sober any longer after having sex with him then it starts to really effect me. If I drink it takes the edge off and I will be able to function tomorrow. And I have to function, I have to get stuff cleaned and packed and moved.

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