what the fuck?

so if you listened to my earlier post you heard that I might test Asshole. Well I did. I told him that it hurt me when we had sex and asked him to please not have sex for three or four days. He said ok. Tonight he made me have sex with him. Well he of course didn’t "make me". I just conceded to have sex so I wouldn’t get mentally tortured and/or hit again. I’m so done.

I think I may just move out tomorrow. He can do what ever he wants, but I swear to God, if he pulls anything I will stop pulling punches. I just feel so broken inside. I’m making myself numb so that I can keep myself together. but I want to break. I want to totally lose control and break I want to tell him what I really think of him. I want to post the pictures and the recordings on the internet and make sure all his friends and family have links. I want him to hang himself from a tree like he says he will.

I want him permanently out of my life. He doesn’t love me or our son, he doesn’t love himself, he loves no one. I need help. Please I need help. If any of you who might run across this has a friend or something that is a lawyer and could give me some advice please post a comment with a way to either contact them or you. All my comments have to be approved before they are posted. I won’t post any that have this information. I just need to talk to someone who can give me real world advice about my situation.

it’s just a reality that I wasn’t prepared for. I really didn’t think he’d just hurt me. like a kid taking the wings off bugs. you should have heard the conversation he had last night in front of Sonny and I. How he was saying that people in jail were telling him he was too violent. That they said there was something wrong with him. I wish to god someone would just take him out. They would be doing the world a favor. He is nothing but a plague on the world.


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