I should be happy

My son is playing at the punkin patch tonight, out had a bunch of jumpies. I’m should be happy, I should be enjoying his joy even if I can’t see him in the mad house of kids right. But I’m not.

I’m irritated that asshole would rather sit & watch the stupid world series. I’m really irritated that I had to buy that idiot beer and cigs earlier when he spent all his money on unnecessary crap. I have way more to say about that, but not now. That who’ll be a long one that I type in from the computer.

I’m saw, or tread something earlier About people shutting.off all emotions so they can cope with abuse and or stress. They don’t feel the hurt or pain, but they also don’t feel positive emotions either.

I think sonny & I both be doing that a little. Me more than him of course. He is so like me.

Maybe I feel better now. I can smile without.feeling.like crying so it must be better.


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