maybe worst night ever.

it was a four 32 night. and that was at like say 7? Sonny was asleep and he wanted to have sex. You know I’m having a little trouble keeping track of what happened when. I’m torn as to wether I should try or if it matters.

So we have sex and of course I dont’ want to but I try to go along with it. He is taking forever. it’s lick then try to screw then lick and back and forth. I’m tired and sore and of course not enjoying any of it. we are in the front room. at some point I start saying can we stop I’m tired and sore and I don’t want Sonny to walk in on us. he stops and lets me off, then makes me start again. this happens a couple times. at one point I start crying and asking if we can stop. I’ve already bit my hand hard to keep from screaming. I just want to stop. He says he’s going to bed.

this is when things start to get bad. he goes in and lays down next to Sonny. I try to turn down the tv and accidently touch something that fucks it up and makes it go to an off channel. He grabs one of the swords that are in the corner (most are just for looks they were his brothers. I start to take off out of the room. thankfully the tv was back on though, i’d fixed it. At some point I leave the room and turn on the recorder on my phone. Sonny is still asleep and he makes me start fucking him again. I’m crying he tells me to get off him and go into the room and go to bed. I get in next to sonny. hi is sortta awake. but I think that was after he starts chasing me around the house again. he tries to put me in a headlock again. he tried to get me on the ground. I can’t let that happen I never get past my knees. though he through me on the floor. at one point while we were screwing he said I hit him. I don’t think I did. he hit me a bunch of times in the back and side. I got off him. thats when the chase and throwing me to the ground happened. He ripped my shirt, tore all the buttons, it was like a button grew neck cotton shirt. it was a mix of t-shirt material, thermal material and sweat shirt material. it was really big not sure if that is a good thing or not.

he hit me a few mroe times in the back and/or ribs. I think he may have gotten me in the head and face too. He said he hurt his hand later and even later than that I thought I saw I cut on one of his fingers. I think he got that when he gave me the fat lip. just the ever front in the middle so far. it looks like it has a blood bruise. I’m wondering how I will hide this. Lucky I just found some lipstick that may do the trick. So anyway the whole sex part where I was crying and everyting else up from that to this point was recorded on my phone.

What didn’t get on the phone was what he said in the bed room. He said once that he would get me out of the hose one way or another, the other way would be in little peices. he also was glaring at me and said in front of a just woke up Sonny that he would kill my mom, my sister, my aunt. basically my whole family if I tried to take sonny with me. I wish I had recordings of those.

I really want to go to the hospital and turn him in for rape and battery. I want it all to end. I honestly don’t know why I don’t. I would love to take off right now I could just see the cops busting in here to get him. I don’t know why I don’t. I don’t know why.

Do after all thatHe makes me go in the bathroom with him and he makes me kiss him, and let him lick me and well he never gets to fuck me I dont’ think. I don’t think he can. but he makes me suck his dick. It takes everything in me not to start trying to beat his ass.

I don’t know what the statue of limitations is on rape. I missed taking the swab. He came on my tits and I washed them off. I thought about trying to take one to see if his fingers left any dna. but didn’t.

Later and I feel a little guilty about this, but I was sitting out in the front room again. Let that asshole piss the bed alone. I was trying to consol Sonny and talk to him about what he heard. I recorded most of it. I got him saying he was scared of daddy, and that daddy said he was going to kill my parents so I could never see them again.

I feel terrible. about all of it. Thankfully they called me about the apartment today. I might be getting one soon. they called my cell, then they called my moms. I just happened to be there at the time. they said they wanted to call me first because it said I was living with my boyfriend, but that it said just my son and I would be moving in. I told them that was true. I told them that is wasn’t a good situation there at my boyfriends and that it would just be the two of us moving in.

I’m scared. Scared for all the reason’s. will he really come after my family? Will he come after us? will he freak out? will I be able to pull off getting the place without him knowing? it’s such a small town and he knows so many people. will I be able to do all this without him knowing? will we get out safe? Will I be able to get the money I need together? I’m so scared. But I have to pull this off. This has to work.

I got pictures of my lip, and of the missing buttons and the tear. my cheek hurts., so does my neck.

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