Today is going alright. He’s there, and I’m both going and dreading running into him. If that happens.
I sorta need to go by one of his offices to find out some information. I guess I could call, but sometimes I hate doing that. Almost like it’s harder than just going there. I know that probably doesn’t make much since. Honestly if think it was an excuse, but I do it with bills too sometimes. Especially if my other option is to mail it. Nothing is harder for me to do than mail something.
For some reason right now, while I’m waiting for my son to get out of school is always the hardest for me. Idk if it’s the time of day, (because I see him around this time a lot, or at least I do when there’s no school, ) our if it’s the sitting & listening to the radio.
I did find out that most likely another guy I’ve been sorta talking to isn’t currently a tweek. I don’t know if that really improves things for him, but it keeps him in the running instead of totally taking him out of it.
It’s been a few hours since the last entry, I’m tired & feeling empty. Just empty.
A little bad news, a little overwhelmed. Generally disappointed with life. I try so hard, to be good, pretty, a good mother, good friend, daughter, house keeper… I feel like I fall short in all categories.
It doesn’t help that I have been feeling like I can’t stand half my friends. I don’t know if it’s that their beliefs remind me of J, or if it’s the I’m so much better than you because I only eat organic, homeschool, don’t vaccinate, & only let my kids watch an hour of tv or video games a day. Good they make me fucking sick.
Maybe I’m just depressed. I don’t like much of anything at the moment