I’m voice in putting this from my phone so if it’s a little choppy lacks punctuation or has strange words that make no sense there is my disclaimer.
I’m really kind of sad that I don’t keep up with this better I know I should, maybe with this new lovely technology I will. The joys of multitasking right? I can do a number of different things and write much faster because I’m speaking and even I don’t type this fast.
I’m still missing J, it’s weird, sometimes he gives me nothing and other times he gives me just enough to keep me going. I wish I could make things right the way they were. But I guess you can’t go back those stupid Facebook memories I go back in look for stuff can I see all the things he used to like he really did used to adore me. It’s very regretful is that him being attracted to me and my being attracted to him spoke with his brains so much because of my ex that he completely blocked it out either that or he just denies it so much for the same reasons.
It’s strange though, and other things stay exactly the same. 3 years ago well a little less than that he and I were best friends. We really were we talked every day throughout the day multiple times most of the time we got a long and respected each other even when we disagreed and we disagreed a lot. And now even though I’m the exact same person more or less and so is he we don’t talk at all barely even acknowledge each other’s existence all because I fell in love with him all because of my ex parent or at least that’s what I tell myself. I kind of wish I really knew actually there’s no kinda about it I wish I really knew I wish I knew how he felt about me then now for sure.
New line it’s been a very tough couple of months lost family members gained family members almost lost family members period of the impending doom that we know is coming plus the world is just up in arms.
Because some people take themselves way too seriously. But there’s always that eternal question? Do I call him? Do I wave when I see him? Do I ignore him? I literally never know what to do or how to react